


The Hazards of Dating Tony Stark

by petroltogo



Series: The Many Hazards Regarding Tony Stark [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Basically everyone is very protective of Tony, It's not easy being Tony's boyfriends, M/M, Modern AU, Protective Clint, Protective Happy, Protective Mr. & Mrs. Rhodes, Protective Natasha, Protective Pepper, Protective Peter, Protective Rhodey, Shovel talks, Tony Stark is precious, blushing Tony, poor steve and bucky, protect tony stark, stuckony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8690761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petroltogo/pseuds/petroltogo
Summary: Dating a billionaire convinced they can't possibly genuinely like him isn't always easy, but Tony is well worth the effort. Sometimes—when said billionaires' very overprotective friends descend on Steve and him like the wrath of the gods for example—Bucky just has to remind himself of that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the following prompt: Hello, If this prompt interests you please write it. Its au modern setting where tony is a young billionaire and steve and bucky are best friends who both like him but tony is wary of both of them, they convince him to give both of them a chance and then both of them get shovel talks from pepper, happy, clint, rhodey, natasha and jonas vision. it would be nice since its always tony who gets those talks. steve and bucky don't know them and are terrified of them. happy ending.

“Who are you?” Steve asks in that forcefully calm voice he uses when he’s about to bodily throw a handsy asshole out of the club.

“How the fuck did you get in here?” Bucky blurts at the same time because Tony has spent _weeks_ carefully updating their ratty apartment’s security to level a Kim Possible themed super villain hideout after it had become clear that they weren’t going to let him move them into a Stark secured mansion any time soon. They don’t have a pit filled with piranhas quite yet, but certainly not for lack of trying on Tony’s part.

Right now Bucky almost regrets backing Steve up on that matter. Not that Tony’s pouting wasn’t adorable but maybe if they did own a bunch of rabid fish they wouldn’t have a stranger sitting in their kitchen like they own it right now.

The woman doesn’t answer either one of their questions, just tilts her head a little and stares them down in a way that makes Bucky itch with the urge to apologise for a crime he doesn’t even know he’s committed yet.

“You must be Steve Rogers,” the still nameless woman comments as she takes in Steve’s broad frame, hands clutching his umbrella like it’s a club. Because of course a fight is always the first thing on the punk’s mind. Bucky’s convinced there’s no item that won’t turn into an impromptu weapon in Steve’s hand, and a deadly effective one at that.

“And you James Barnes,” the woman continues matter-of-factly.

She’s attractive, Bucky’ll give her that. Dressed in a form-fitting suit, ginger hair carefully pinned into into a tight bun, she’s all sharp lines and cutting edges. She’s also slender and if it wasn’t for her intimidating glare and the fact that she’s somehow managed to bypass their entire security system, Steve could’ve probably taken her even before his growth spurt.

The thought isn’t as comforting as it should’ve been.

Under different circumstances Bucky might have found some humour in the fact that a pretty, well-dressed business woman got the drop on two security guards with military experience with embarrassing ease. As things are though it’s been a long fucking week and all Bucky wants to do right now is curl up on their sofa with his head in Steve’s lap and send Tony ridiculously sappy I-miss-you-more texts. Is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently very much so.

“My name is Pepper Potts,” the woman finally introduces herself, her every word as carefully measured as the clothes she wears. And Bucky knows that name, has heard it a thousand times before and he can tell the exact moment the same thing occurs to Steve, reads it in the way his boyfriend’s posture looses just the slightest bit of _edge_. 

Pepper Potts. Tony’s beloved, over-worked assistant that they’ve hadn’t had the chance to meet thus far. Also known as the only woman who’s mere mentioning is allowed to make Tony’s eyes brighten like the goddamn sun, as far as Bucky is concerned. He’s never considered himself as possessive exactly, not when the implication that Tony, any person, can be _owned_ makes him sick on his stomach but that doesn’t mean Bucky doesn’t get jealous every once in a while. He’s not a saint, alright, and it doesn’t help that their relationship isn’t what you’d call conventional.

Despite the fact that most people focus on the awesome sex part, which is awesome enough to deserve that focus in case anyone has any doubts about that, a three way relationship requires a lot of work. Coupled with Tony’s serious commitment issues, well. Most days Bucky still expects to wake up and realise that Tony’s barely audible “Yes” was just a dream. After five long months of proving that _no, they do not just want a quick fuck to spice up their sex life_ and _yes, they actually, genuinely care for him_ , Bucky figures nobody can blame him for having some trouble adjusting to their new reality.  

Being in a constant state of fear for his and Steve’s lives (not health, _lives_ , Banner has been very clear on the matter, in that polite, awkward way of his that by all means shouldn’t be able to terrify a toddler- _and yet_ ) decidedly does not help.

Bucky supposes it all started last Saturday. They’d been binge-watching all the _The Fast and The Furious_ movies, Tony’s legs draped over Steve’s lap and his head on Bucky’s chest, when, in the middle of the prison breakout, Tony reached out to patt Steve’s upper tight and gently pull on Bucky’s hair to get their attention. In true Tony style he then promptly proceeded to turn his face towards Bucky’s chest so he wouldn’t have to look either of them in the eyes.

“Do you- Would you maybe- I mean- want to go out with me?” Tony’d asked, fingers nervously playing with the hem of Bucky’s shirt. “I mean, you can think about it obviously and I’d understand if you’ve changed your mind or just don’t want to or-”

“Tony,” Steve interrupted the more and more agitated ramblings, which was a good thing really, considering Bucky was still caught somewhere between the movie and the cute guy in his arm. “Are you asking us out on a date? A boyfriend goes with boyfriend goes with boyfriend date?” Because one of the things they’ve learned over the last couple of months is that if you don’t make clear beyond a shadow of a doubt what it is you want, Tony will drive himself insane trying to figure out all the different possibilities.

And Tony, brilliant, genius, confident, flirty Tony _blushed_. There’d been a stuttered “Yes” mumbled into the fabric of Bucky’s shirt as well and really, nobody in their right mind could blame Bucky for kissing his, finally _his_ , boyfriend’s bright red cheeks. Or for getting distracted by those slightly chapped lips. Or for being enchanted by the pretty, pretty sounds Tony made when he was being kissed. Or Steve for feeling left out and deciding to do something about it.

Suffice to say the conversation had derailed fairly quickly after that.

When Tony had left for his business trip to Japan the next morning, after plenty of reassurances, goodbye kisses and promises of course, Bucky been on top of the world. And why wouldn’t he be? He was dating the two most amazing guys in the world and Steve kept giving him these _looks_ that may or may not have led to a couple dozen M-rated texts for Tony and, well. Life was good.

Until they’d gotten accosted by a red-haired woman on their way back from work. Bucky doesn’t think the setting on a dark, abandoned side-alley was a coincidence. Nor was the way the stranger kept twirling different sized knifes between her fingers while she informed them in a very calm, very matter-of-fact voice that she was going to slowly cut them open if either of them so much as thought to hurt a hair on Tony’s head.

Frankly Bucky still had no idea who the woman was, how she knew Tony or why she even cared (though that last one was a stupid question, you couldn’t know Tony, really know him, and not fall just a little bit in love with him, it just wasn’t feasible) but he didn’t doubt that she would follow up on her threat.

It had been a weird, terrifying, yet oddly comforting experience. Steve’d called him a suicidal moron, which was rich coming from _Steve_ , but Bucky was honestly glad that someone out there was watching Tony’s back, would protect him if for whatever reason Steve and Bucky couldn’t be that person. Even if that person was possibly a highly trained assassin with no conscience to speak of.

As it turned out though that incident was only the beginning.

On Tuesday, the bartender at the club they worked at, Clint, warned them in no uncertain terms that if they messed with _that rich bastard with the insane as fuck tips you’ll never get a decent drink in this city ever again, I swear I’ll make it happen, I know people_. That had been a bit of a disconcerting experience, not just because Clint’s shifty-eyed look made Bucky hesitant to ever accept anything mixed by the guy ever again but mostly because he hadn’t even known that Clint _knew_ Tony.

On Wednesday the theme continued with James “call me Jim” Rhodes, an old college friend of Tony’s Bucky’d shared a couple of beers with in the past. Jim’d invited the two of them over for lunch, which should have been their first warning. It was no secret that Steve and Jim didn’t get on that well, something about a lost bet, a bunch of principles and the fact that you either hated or loved Steve with all your heart.

Out of all of them Jim’s threats were the least surprising. They were the ones Steve and Bucky had been expecting, mainly because they’d both already been subjected to the shovel talk when they’d still only been friends with Tony. Let’s just say Jim has a protective streak several miles wide where Tony is concerned and leave it at that. What they had definitely _not_ expected was for Jim’s _parents_ to be their, nor to get eye-balled by Mr. Rhodes over the dinner table while Mrs. Rhodes told them stories of _our darling Tony_. Bucky doesn’t think he’s imagined how often she stressed the _such a darling, he’s practically part of the family, you know_ part.

Thursday brought an _entirely accidental_ , and no, Bucky isn’t becoming paranoid, what are you talking about, run-in in the bus with a vaguely familiar high school student that kept mouthing ‘I’m watching you’ from his seat across Bucky’s. Bucky doesn’t know how or why this kid would possibly know Tony and him but it seems like too odd a coincidence, so. There has apparently also been a conversation between Steve and Tony’s preferred driver Happy but Steve hasn’t talked about it. At all. Bucky’s sure he doesn’t want to know.

Keeping this entire, insane week in mind, Bucky has to admit they should’ve probably seen Pepper Potts making herself at home in their kitchen coming. He exchanges a weak smile with Steve because they both know where this is gonna lead.

To be honest, Bucky’s getting tired of this shit. He’s tired of uncomfortable talks, glares and unvoiced threats. He’s tired of looking over his shoulder and having his privacy and his home invaded. But Bucky also knows that this is just a small dose, a test run really, of what it really means to be in a relationship with Tony Stark. That’s why he lets them. Because dating Tony will never just be dating Tony, will always be putting on a show for the rest of the world, will always include eyes watching and strangers judging and if he, if _they_ can’t deal with that they best get out now.

Thing is though, Steve’s never known how to back down and Bucky has never known how to do anything but fight by Steve’s side with everything he’s got. It’s who they are and sooner or later these people will realise it too. They’ll _make_ them realise it.

If they survive this conversation, that is.

“Gentlemen, please sit down,” Pepper- _Miss Potts_ , she looks very much like a Miss Potts right now, gives them a bland smile that makes Bucky’s skin crawl.

Tony’s worth all this and _so much more_ but that doesn’t mean Bucky won’t develop a phobia against red-haired woman when all this is said and done. They’re fucking terrifying and nothing’s gonna convince him otherwise.

“We have much to discuss.”

**Author's Note:**

> There's a kudos button and a comment section... (cause seriously, who needs subtlety anyways??) Hope you enjoyed this, I had a lot of fun writing it!
> 
> Check out my tumblr [tonystarktogo](http://tonystarktogo.tumblr.com/). And if you have your own prompts or headcanons, please always feel free to share them with me! Pretty please?


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